I'm awake at an obscene hour again. I knew I shouldn't have had that double shot of whiskey --- it wasn't enough.
Thoughts about my birthday. I find that people with yearly birthdays worry about my birthday (or lack of one) more than I do. Like everyone else, I get older every year and I always claim each additional year, sometimes, months in advance, I start saying the age I'll be by the end of February. Yet unlike most people, my actual birthday doesn't show up on the calendar yearly. Honestly, it's no big deal. Like I was telling someone, it sounds like a riddle when I tell people on the 28th that my birthday is not today, but neither is it on the next day. I cried about this once in my life and got over it. I started school pretty early and kids, being insensitive little ?!#*!! they are (haha, kidding) told me I didn't have a birthday when we were looking at the list of birthdays and the calendar, which we've just learned to decipher. I came home crying to my mom and she sat me down and talked to me. I don't remember her exact words, yet the message stuck. I have a special birthday, and just because it wasn't on the calendar, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. My mom made me a special February calendar that year which I showed off at school the next day. But just for good measure, we had a birthday bash for my 3rd birthday and invited all my classmates. It was never a big deal after that. Every year, I end up reassuring people that it's ok I don't have my own special day. I have it every four years, which in my book, is an extra-special day. Most years, people with February and March birthdays share theirs with me so I think sometimes I end up with more birthday greetings than the average person who people greet for one day, and that's it.
Also, maybe I over-think stuff, but from my birthday I learned something very important. Just because it's not there, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I'm a great believer, or at least, I acknowledge that a lot of things are possible.
Mmmmm, ok, maybe I do need more sleep. Or another drink.